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Tiger_Bear_Lion

What constitutes good mothering?

When Lenore Skenazy shared that she allowed her 9 year old son to 'roam' the landscape and subways of NY she felt a huge public backlash. The confessions of Amy Chua's tiger mother approach started a firestorm of debate about over-controlling parents. And Sarah Palin is always an easy target for arguing that she is too involved or not involved enough in her children's lives and their Dancing With The Stars bids.

Most mothering is judged as too hard, too soft, too absent, or too emeshed with their children. With the end result being the same message - we are bad mothers.

It is a disappointing commentary on our support for motherhood. Sure, there are bad mothers out there. But most mothers are good, caring moms who try to get it right every day. Even if they do it differently than we might, we should at least be honoring each other's efforts. ...continue reading →

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Glass_Half_Full

But optimism isn't as simple as seeing the glass half full. To gain the advantages of optimism it has to be done well. And there are some surprising nuances. Are you curious? Then keep reading...

10 Insights Into Optimism

1. Optimists talk a certain way to themselves and others. They take responsibility for the energy their thoughts and words create. Example: They add the words 'right now' to thoughts/sentences about challenging situations to contain negative energy. They also move their thoughts up (lighter, more positive) - rather than down (heavier, more negative).

2. There's a fine line between optimism and denial. Optimism keeps you positive, energized and prepared - not afraid to have your eyes open, but being very aware of your focus. Denial keeps you positive but more likely because you are trying to avoid conflict. It also leaves you vulnerable to being blind-sided by what happens next. ...continue reading →

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Dear Friends, Family and Fans,

I just wanted to post this quickly to update you on the fact that my bid for the Advice Guru Job at Good Morning America is over. They announced 7 of the 20 to continue on and I was not among them.

It has been an awesome ride - though it ended before I wanted to get off. The best parts involved getting to answer questions, learning to have more faith in myself and all of you - the people who stepped up and made me feel extremely cared about. ...continue reading →

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ABCGMA_logoOK - So I am looking to start my own little Good Morning America Challenge and YOU are invited to participate.

Below is a question that I must answer for the next round of GMA's Advice Guru contest. But I know many people would have Guru-worthy answers and would love to make that point. So I invite you to do the same:

What do you think is the secret to living a good life? (Change it to a GREAT life for bonus points!)

Here is the criteria: ...continue reading →

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ABCGMA_logoHere are my answers to the first two GMA Guru Questions. If you think I give good advice, please Vote on, Comment on, or Facebook 'like' them. And even if the subjects don't appeal to you, if you are open - I can GUARANTEE you will learn something for yourself in each of them.

Answer #3: Aging, Guilt & Family Tradition

Answer #2: Preparing Girls for Puberty

Answer #1: Mom & ME Time and taking time for you

(Votes are cumulative over all the questions. Vote box is at the end of the article.) ...continue reading →

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ABCGMA_logoIt's official! Out of 15,000 applicants, amazingly, I am one of 20 finalists in Good Morning America's new Advice Guru!

This is an amazing opportunity and one that I think I would be wonderful at! But here is where I need your help for a change.

So if you believe in me and my work and want to help, here are some ways to do that:

Read, Vote on, Comment on, FB Like, and/or Share my GMA Advice (See above for links). ...continue reading →

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LonelyWomanDear Annie,

While helping others deal with stress is important, what do I do if I am the stressed person? It seems like I have so many issues to deal with on a day-to-day basis. I've been seeing a counselor and am on medication but I still get so stressed out at times that it makes me physically ill. Do you have any suggestions? ~ Overwhelmed with Stress

Dear Overwhelmed,

I gave you that name because that is where you are right now. Once your life and body get overwhelmed with stress it is a different challenge than preventing or just maintaining a calmer state-of-mind. Your body is likely - literally - overdosing on cortisol, the stress hormone. So the first thing is to work to remove as much of this from your system as possible. Which means intervention now, prevention later. ...continue reading →

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ABCGMA_logoWell, it's official!

As of Monday morning - I am one of 20 finalists in Good Morning America's search for an Advice Guru!

Not sure what happens next but I am feeling pretty happy to have made it through over 15,000 applications to the top 20.

Want to know more? Here are 3 things to do if you're interested:

  1. Check out my application at GMA, feel free to leave a comment or 'like' it.
  2. You can also ask a question at GMA here.

Oh - and wish me luck!

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Massage TherapyStress is like the flu. It can get passed on just by coming into contact with someone who has it! And holidays - with all their high expectations, sense of obligations, crowd navigations, and family connections - set up the perfect conditions for catching and passing on this bug.

But even if you yourself are good at keeping stress at bay (or just don't need anyone else's), there are likely all kinds of people in your life that are coughing and sneezing and groaning about their aches and pains. So if you want to help a person who's laid up with a bad case of stress, here are 3 steps to consider:

Step 1. Practice Prevention. Stay healthy with your own stress. Don't get too close to others who are infected and definitely don't use their condition as an excuse to add your own stress to a potential epidemic. And don't forget to practice good handwashing throughout the day to keep from spreading stress to others. ...continue reading →

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Married_mans_ring_fingerHi Annie,

Here is my situation. I'm upset that my husband has an ex-coworker friend - female - that he texts everyday. She lives about 3 hours away, is about 20 years younger than him and is divorced.

He assures me that there's nothing romantic going on and has made an attempt to keep the texting down when we're out for dinner, but every night he's in the TV room and they are texting a lot.

He has left two wives (one which was me - we have remarried) for other women. So if I accept what he's saying, am I fooling myself?

Signed ~ Fool for Love

Dear Dear Woman, ...continue reading →