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Late_bloomer

When my son was in 7th grade, he was particularly short.

Genetically predisposed to being a late bloomer, he found himself suddenly surrounded in a sea of students who had literally grown a foot overnight. Between gawky limbs, swirling body odor, deepening voices and the constant chatter of socially-dawning teenagers, my undersized son worked to maneuver the halls and the rules of middle school.

Fortunately, he entered this era happy and with plenty of friends, so being short wasn't an issue. That is until one day his friends and classmates got the idea that pointing out his height was funny.

The first few times it happened he laughed along. He wasn't thrilled by the focus but a little kidding about it wasn't a big deal. But it didn't stop. Within a month the teasing had gone from an occasional Hobbit joke to a seemingly constant flow of “short" remarks and hallway head pats. ...continue reading →

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ABCGMA_logo#1: The following is the first of 3 questions for the ABC Good Morning America Advice Guru Challenge. I applied for the position. What do you think of my 150-word-or-less answer?

Whenever there is an issue between my mother-in-law and me, my husband refuses to stand up for me. How do I get him to value our relationship more than the one with his mother?

Annie Answers: Do you and your husband agree that marriage is about having each other's backs? If not - I think I've found the real challenge. But if so then you need to ask him to have yours. In order to grow in your relationship as opposed to grow apart - he will need to set the record straight with his mom that you matter. ...continue reading →

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ABCGMA_logo#2: The following is the second of 3 questions for the ABC Good Morning America Advice Guru Challenge. I applied for the position. What do you think of my 150-word-or-less answer?

While cleaning my son's room, I accidentally saw on his Facebook page threatening remarks from his friends. I fear he's being bullied. What should I do?

Annie Answers: The bottom line is to be the kind of parent your son needs. Start by not freaking out - calm parenting trumps crazed parenting any day.

Explain how you came to see the posts, apologize for the intrusion and then - calmly - find out what is going on. Your goal is to determine how real the threat is. And that starts with listening. ...continue reading →

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ABCGMA_logo#3: The following is the third of 3 questions for the ABC Good Morning America Advice Guru Challenge. I applied for the position. What do you think of my 150-word-or-less answer?

My boss keeps taking credit for my ideas. What should I do?

Annie Answers: Bosses that don't build up their teams are not great bosses. But until we have a magic wand to make others do the right thing, here are some options.

Do nothing: Especially if your job is generally satisfying and your boss is ok in other ways, you may decide to stay quiet and even offer up your ideas for the team. ...continue reading →

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Little_Red_Hen_Cover

In the story The Little Red Hen, the overworked and under-supported Mama Hen spends all her time cooking and cleaning while the rest of her household naps the day away.

Finally fed up after getting no help in tending the wheat seeds she eventually turns into flour and eventually a cake, she answers the question of "Who's going to eat this cake?" with, "Not any of you."

Of course, in the story, losing out on cake is just the trick needed to get her lazy, and now hungry, crew to start pitching in - presumably living cooperatively ever after from there on out. ...continue reading →

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Mitt_and_ball_-_CCShutterBugChef

Marriage Dilemma: Wife's resentment at husband's sports league commitments.

There's a good chance that when you first got together with your now-partner, him playing on a sports team with his friends was all part of the fun.

But now that you are married with small children and limited family time, this activity may feel like a luxury that's beyond the family budget and one that causes on-going resentment every time he grabs his mitt and heads out the door. ...continue reading →

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Bored_teen_CC_sunshinecityRaise your hand if you fear that your child's honest answer to 'What I did on my summer vacation' will be: slept a lot; did most of my socializing online; spent countless afternoons moping around and fighting with my siblings; played hundreds of hours of video games; lost a huge chunk of the previous year's learning - or worse yet - got into lots of trouble in the world when no one was looking.

Most tweens and pre-working teens love the thought of summer vacation. But once it gets going the sheer number of hours to fill can lead to 10+ hour, zombie-induced, video game marathons interspersed with wandering the world under the radar and getting into trouble. ...continue reading →

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Dad__I_10My dad is 82 years old. So with Father’s Day approaching, I decided to take a trip back to my childhood and contemplate this man and his influence on me. What I discovered was not what I expected but an insight that I have come to regard as possibly his greatest legacy.

It is a legacy that I admire from the sidelines. And one that I am impressed by far beyond these words.

My dad, Don Zirkel, has had a memorable life. He worked for 30+ years as a columnist and editor of a Catholic paper, as an ordained Deacon, and as the information officer of the NY Division of Human Rights. He has been an advocate for, as he would say, "the least and the lonely" all his life. ...continue reading →

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gate_latchFrom the moment our children are born we, as parents, are asked to be the gatekeepers for what and with whom our children come into contact.

Do they have access to plug outlets or the cords of mini-blinds? Are they being exposed to lead? Could they choke on that grape? And this doesn't even begin to consider who their childcare provider is and other, much bigger, concerns.

We are expected to ensure their safety, proper nutrition and physical development, their homework completion, academic success, chore responsibilities, acquisition of life skills, good morals and behavior and watch that they are not being bullied or bullying others. ...continue reading →

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(Part 1 of a 3 part series on Being Prickly)

porcupine_CCDrew_AveryWe come into contact with prickly people all the time. It might be a scowl, a frosty attitude or a touchy disposition. It might be the choice of words as in 'What do you want?!'

Sometimes they serve us coffee. Sometimes they sit across from us at work or in committee meetings. Sometimes they live in our neighborhood or even worse! in our own homes.

And sometimes - more often then we'd like to admit - they are staring back at us in the mirror. ...continue reading →