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iStockvideogaming

So your child REALLY likes video games. So if left alone, they would play 3, 4, 5 or more hours non-stop. So they resist your attempts to limit their time playing these games or sneak in extra time whenever possible. So you catch them lying or staying up late to play more and being irritable, angry or stuck in a moping mood when not able to play.

At what point do you wonder if this is normal or if it seems more like the signs of a video game junkie?

Part 1: Is Gaming Addiction Real?

A 2008 study from Stanford School of Medicine on video/on-line game playing and the brain found that male participants (more so than female participants) showed activation in the region of the brain associated with reward and addiction. Even many gamers will admit this. In fact according to a survey of over 40,000 gamers "about 50% of MMORPG (Massive-Multi-player Online Role Play Game) players would consider themselves addicted to the game." ...continue reading →

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Catching your child in a lie can be a troubling experience. Fear of moral weakness, anger at being manipulated or even hurt by a sense of betrayal, parents can react pretty strongly to these transgressions.

But it is important to remember both that it's a rare person who hasn't dabbled in dishonesty and that there's a big gap between telling a lie and being a pathological liar.

How we respond to our children's lying can make a difference in whether this is a stage or a profession. So before you get out that bar of soap or the tabasco sauce, it might help to understand the purpose and development of lying. ...continue reading →

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GoToSleepGo The Fuck To Sleep is a new book written by Adam Mansbach about a tired parent's frustration at his child's inability to go to sleep. Written like a children's book - but definitely not one - it mimics the rhyming cuplet style of the sleepytime genre only with a twist.

The story highlights much of the 11th hour drama that parents with young kids can relate to. Negotiating the number of books read, glasses of water drunk, and, not surprisingly, just how many trips to the bathroom need to be taken, it offers two sweet lines of text, followed by two exacerbated lines finishing with the book's catchy signature phrase.

The book appears to be doing well and the author is making the rounds to media outlets. But there's something about a book that jokes about being SO frustrated with your child that you would repeatly tell them to 'Go the fuck to sleep' - if only in your head - that has me going against the 'this book had me ROTFLMAO' crowd and give it a thumbs down. ...continue reading →

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Husband_Blames_Wife

Dear Annie,

I have an arranged marriage that is having problems. When my husband and I talk, he makes issues out of everthing I say. Also he never supports me with my mother-in-law who seems to look for that moment when she can create a misunderstanding between us.

I have a baby and my husband threatens divorce. Then calls up my parents every other day complaining. What can I do to make this better? ~ Worried and Discouraged

Dear Worried,

I am sorry that you and your husband are having so much trouble. I imagine that neither of you expected your marriage to be this way. And adding an un-supportive mother-in-law into the mix makes it that much harder to create a marriage where you and your husband feel like you are on the same side. ...continue reading →

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Its_A_Girl

(I have three awesome sons but I've always wanted a daughter, too. If I had had one, here's what I would say to her now.)

Dear daughter,

WOW - have you grown up. It's like I can't even remember when you were a little girl. Now you are sorting out the world of school, friends, boys, sex, career plans, and eventually marriage? Motherhood?

It's a confusing time with lots of pressure and messages about what you should be doing. And I know I've given you plenty of advice already but I hope you are open to a little more. There are some tough challenges you are facing and I - well - as your mother, am worried for you. ...continue reading →

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Tiger_Bear_Lion

What constitutes good mothering?

When Lenore Skenazy shared that she allowed her 9 year old son to 'roam' the landscape and subways of NY she felt a huge public backlash. The confessions of Amy Chua's tiger mother approach started a firestorm of debate about over-controlling parents. And Sarah Palin is always an easy target for arguing that she is too involved or not involved enough in her children's lives and their Dancing With The Stars bids.

Most mothering is judged as too hard, too soft, too absent, or too emeshed with their children. With the end result being the same message - we are bad mothers.

It is a disappointing commentary on our support for motherhood. Sure, there are bad mothers out there. But most mothers are good, caring moms who try to get it right every day. Even if they do it differently than we might, we should at least be honoring each other's efforts. ...continue reading →

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Glass_Half_Full

But optimism isn't as simple as seeing the glass half full. To gain the advantages of optimism it has to be done well. And there are some surprising nuances. Are you curious? Then keep reading...

10 Insights Into Optimism

1. Optimists talk a certain way to themselves and others. They take responsibility for the energy their thoughts and words create. Example: They add the words 'right now' to thoughts/sentences about challenging situations to contain negative energy. They also move their thoughts up (lighter, more positive) - rather than down (heavier, more negative).

2. There's a fine line between optimism and denial. Optimism keeps you positive, energized and prepared - not afraid to have your eyes open, but being very aware of your focus. Denial keeps you positive but more likely because you are trying to avoid conflict. It also leaves you vulnerable to being blind-sided by what happens next. ...continue reading →

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Telling_A_SecretWhat is the secret to a good life? I have been actively pondering this question since I was asked to answer it during my recent adventure to become Good Morning America's first Advice Guru. (I made it to the top 20 and this was my last challenge: answer this question on video in 20 seconds or less. Which may be why I didn't make it past this round. Has anyone ever known me to only talk for 20 seconds?)

My brain raced with thousands of thoughts! I sought the wise words of spiritual leaders, popular writers, poets, musicians, bumper stickers, and the wisdom of family, facebook friends, fans, my gratitude group, my teenagers and my clients. On the suggestion of one friend, I even googled it!

I scribbled notes, typed and reworked nearly 50 answers and recorded a half a dozen less than brilliant clips. When I finally had my first major insight - ...continue reading →