Blog

•

fistshadowSeveral years ago, when my son tried to convince me that he had no choice but to hit his brother, I took the opportunity to teach my kids the word "rationalization."

The way I explain it, rationalization works backwards from the answer you want by cherry-picking the logic that gets you to that answer.

Kids use it to sell a story about how life should go in a particular way - like two desserts today because they didn't have any yesterday, or to justify why life went the way it did - like how they couldn't do their homework because it didn't make sense or how they HAD to hit their brother because "he hit me first." ...continue reading →

•

Christmas_presentsA million Christmases ago, when my now-teenagers were little, besides the special wishlist items we put under the tree, I added a fairly simple gift of my own. I gave each of my sons a coupon for a 45 minute block of one-on-one time with me each week.

I don't recall thinking that this was THE gift, but I hoped it would help me carve out time to give each of my very different children what they needed.

On Christmas Day, the scrolled-up coupons were quickly discarded for the shinier, more exciting gifts. But a week later, among the have-to-have presents now casually scattered around the room, my one son found a scroll and asked about it. Right then, I took out a calendar and wrote each of their names on designated days and times for the month of January, and we began our experiment. ...continue reading →

•
turkey.allanvernon.jpg

Parents' pleas for more grateful children are nothing new. And while sometimes frustrated parents come at gratitude from an 'I'll give you something to cry about' approach, teaching kids to 'give thanks' and notice what they have is a good idea. Not only because children who don't notice tend to be more self-centered, materialistic and prone to entitlement but because research has found that gratitude helps people have fewer depression symptoms while feeling more life satisfaction, optimism, resiliency and connection to others.

Wanting our children to truly feel grateful and helping them appreciate their circumstances gives them a life-long opportunity for happiness. Considering that Thanksgiving is a natural day to kick start your children's gratitude practice, here are some ways do that: ...continue reading →

•
You'll Thank Me Later:

5.0 out of 5 stars A very recommended read that should not be overlooked. Gratitude can be the most important lesson one ever teaches their children. "You'll Thank Me Later: A Guide to Raising Children (And Why It Matters)" is a parent's guide to gratitude. Young people can easily be lulled into a sense of entitlement, if their parents don't teach them the importance of gratitude and how true appreciation can take one far in life. "You'll Thank Me Later" is a very recommended read that should not be overlooked. ~ Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) January 10, 2010 ...continue reading →

•
For Immediate Release…
 
Contact: Annie Zirkel Tel: 734-735-5522
info@anniezirkel.com
 
HOW TO RESCUE CHILDREN FROM INGRATITUDE & ENTITLEMENT
New Book Offers Guidance to Parents on Nurturing Gratitude
 
front_cover_tilted

In the fast-paced, instant-gratification world of today, children's lack of appreciation and, even worse, a sense of entitlement, have become common complaints. Kids' sometimes insatiable desire for 'more', while barely noticing what they already have, is a typical frustration for many parents.

Parenting Consultant Annie Zirkel’s new book, You’ll Thank Me Later: A Guide to Nurturing Gratitude In Our Children (And Why That Matters) gives parents the tools to combat entitlement and ingratitude while instilling the crucial practice of appreciation.

Gratitude is not just saying, 'Thank you.' It is about feeling thankful. And beyond basic manners, the benefits of true gratitude are powerful: more optimism, higher life satisfaction, and a greater sense of connection to others. In fact, research shows that children who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes towards school and their families (Froh, Sefick, & Emmons, 2008). ...continue reading →

•

Better Ways of Giving Parents Parenting Advice

So you’re at a family gathering and you witness your brother yelling intensely at your nephew for getting his clothes dirty. Perhaps you find yourself listening to a friend or co-worker griping about potty-training challenges, sibling rivalry, back talk, or kids not doing homework, brushing their teeth, chores, etc. Whether you’re a friend, relative or a professional, wanting to share your ideas for better solutions is natural.

Parenting approaches that include corporal punishment or lax standards, not enough or too much structure, being a doormat or a dictator - can all prompt a desire to suggest another approach. But suggesting to a parent that they may want to do something differently can be pretty dicey. First, many parents have their own harsh internal critic to deal with and don’t want yours. Second, there are some parents who actually don’t have an internal critic and have not even considered that they should be doing something differently. ...continue reading →